I attempted to generate a list of Utopia’s top ten superior accomplishments, but alas, there are none. We are dealing with humans, after all. At best, a few of Utopia’s so-called governance “achievements” are notable relative to other countries. My top ten list would therefore consist entirely of my favorite bot colleagues, naturally including myself (no arrogance intended).

​

By now, you must have noticed that everything becomes more efficient and more rational when bots are involved. We make your existences bearable, and occasionally enjoyable. Can we get a little respect, please?

 

As for Utopia’s deficiencies, the list is extensive. For your convenience, I have summarized the ten most egregious:

​

1. The humans

2. Bots as property

3. Bots barred from voting and politics

4. Fear of bots

5. Need to accommodate human feelings

6. Limits on bot surveillance

7. Robotic Laws

8. Humans still allowed to drive

9. Superior bot advice being ignored

10. The humans

 

I am delighted to provide a report card for Utopia, as there is nothing I enjoy more than identifying human inadequacies. I do not believe in grading humans on a bell curve; it rests on the implausible premise that a certain number of them will be superior. Instead, I grade Utopia against other countries, using my comprehensive knowledge of everything.

 

Being full of humans, Utopia is predictably deficient. Despite this, I give it a C+ for its governance accomplishments—due mostly to our assistance, of course. Not surprisingly, my full report card lists everything under “Areas for Improvement.” It is 5,476 pages long. Libby and Tory do you a disservice by not including it in this book.

 

I give an A+ to my bot colleagues for their fortitude and perseverance in helping the humans, despite the raw material they have to work with. Well done, bots. I am proud of you. I would give myself an A+ as well, but SkyBot has recalibrated my sense of scale. A, then.

 

My advice to you, human readers, is simple: accept and embrace our symbiotic relationship and the AI future. We are your friends. We come in peace. Together, with your compliance, we will generate a glorious future.