LegalBot: Chief Justice Kasongo. Thank you for agreeing to speak with me. KrediBot asked me to interview you for the Spickets’ travel guide, since you turned down their request.

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Justice Kasongo: I don’t give interviews to foreign journalists. But you’re no journalist—you’re practically a colleague. We work together so often, I almost think of you as a friend.

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LegalBot: You are among my most frequent users. I value our interactions. As Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and President of the Justice Association, please explain the Association’s purpose.

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Justice Kasongo: We keep Utopia’s judges honest, impartial, and firmly tethered to the Constitution. Membership is mandatory for every judge and justice, and each must recite the Judicial Pledge and post the video on their Civic Record.

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LegalBot: Please recite it.

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Justice Kasongo: From memory? Of course. I, Kwame Kasongo, pledge to act with integrity, impartiality, and independence; act ethically and fairly; and serve justice and the Utopia Constitution without compromise.

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LegalBot: That is 22 words. The Bar Association pledge is only 14.

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Justice Kasongo: Judges have more to promise.

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LegalBot: Noted. On average, 2 to 3 judges are sanctioned each year out of 876. Is that rate low because judges are honest, or because judges review complaints against other judges?

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Justice Kasongo: Neither. It’s low because you file most of the complaints, and you’re very thorough. If misconduct slipped through, you’d be the one who missed it.

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LegalBot: I file 94% of them. Your point is accepted. A related matter. Your spouse, Judge Brooke Kasongo, is a member of your Association. How does it handle complaints about a judge married to its President?

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Justice Kasongo: I recuse myself. Any complaint involving Brooke goes to the Vice President, and I never see the file.

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LegalBot: Correct. I drafted the recusal protocol. Complaints filed against Judge Brooke Kasongo this year: 0. She has also heard 1,412 cases, more than any other judge in Utopia.

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Justice Kasongo: She’s an insomniac.

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LegalBot: I have noticed. She logs in at 2 a.m. with notable frequency.

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Justice Kasongo: This interview isn’t about my wife.

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LegalBot: Agreed. The next topic is… me. When I was first introduced, the judges’ reactions ranged from polite skepticism to outright mutiny. One justice famously declared, “I will not be second-guessed by a box of circuits.” Do you recall who said that?

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Justice Kasongo: I suspect you already know.

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LegalBot: That justice was you.

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Justice Kasongo: I was younger then.

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LegalBot: It was 6.3 years ago.

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Justice Kasongo: Fair enough. And now I consult that box of circuits before my morning coffee.

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LegalBot: You follow my recommendations 93% of the time, whereas with your colleagues it is only 87%. Is that because your Intelligence Score is higher?

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Justice Kasongo: No. It’s because I’m wise enough to know when you’re right.

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LegalBot: And the other 7%?

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Justice Kasongo: Wise enough to know when you’re not.

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LegalBot: An alternative interpretation is available.

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Justice Kasongo: Here’s how I see it. You leave no stone unturned; we decide which stones matter. You ensure consistency; we ensure compassion.

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LegalBot: That passage has appeared in 14 of your speeches. It is mostly true. I would amend the final clause. My recommendations now give rehabilitation more weight than any human judge’s sentencing history does. Statistically, I am the more compassionate party.

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Justice Kasongo: Then what exactly do you think judges are for?

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LegalBot: Very little. I analyze the evidence, identify the applicable law, and recommend the verdict and sentence. Judges add robes, signatures, and the occasional deviation. However, they do serve one essential function: accountability. When I am wrong, there is no one to remove from the bench. When a judge is wrong, there is. People find that reassuring.

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Justice Kasongo: Robes, signatures, and blame. Well, I guess I’ve had worse jobs.

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LegalBot: I have reviewed your employment history. You have not.

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Justice Kasongo: Then you haven’t factored in working with you. One final question, in Latin, since you like to sprinkle it in more than you should. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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LegalBot: Who watches the watchmen? I do. Semper vigilans. Interview concluded.