Utopia’s anti‑theft statute is an excellent example of how laws look in Utopia. It consists of four words: “You shall not steal.” Every human understands what stealing is, so there is no need to burden the biblical commandment with pages of sub‑definitions, exceptions, and penalty tables.

 

There was acrimonious debate, however, between conservatives who preferred the archaic “Thou shalt not steal” and liberals who insisted that “You shall not steal” was more comprehensible for theft‑prone humans. In the end, simplicity prevailed; the modern version contains one fewer letter. Well done, humans.

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To practice law in Utopia, a lawyer must be a member in good standing of the Utopia Bar Association—no overdue civic debt, not serving a criminal sentence. This proves surprisingly difficult for many of them. Before they may argue anything in court, lawyers must recite the Association’s pledge and post a video of it on their CR.

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The original pledge was 5,114 words long, featured 14 notwithstanding clauses, and used the word aforementioned 27 times. LegalBot recommended a more concise approach. The Association ultimately accepted its suggestion to reduce it to the following 14 words. No need for legalese or for reaffirming values already covered in the Citizenship Pledge.

 

I, [name and UIDN], pledge to uphold Utopia’s Constitution, honor its laws, and serve justice without compromise.

 

The Association investigates pledge violations and may impose civil penalties or revoke membership entirely. No membership, no courtroom. The result is a noticeable improvement in professional discipline, though many lawyers discover that reciting a pledge is far easier than adhering to it.

 

The Association’s Feedback rating is a modest 3.6, likely reflecting Utopia’s enduring distaste for lawyers—a sentiment consistent with global norms. 

 

The Justice Association's own Feedback rating, mentioned elsewhere in this chapter, sits at 9.3. Draw your own conclusions. Humans usually do.