Libby and Tory asked me to provide an official “organic certification” for this book.

​

How does somebot certify that a book is “mostly organic”? A strange human obsession. We bots can make you believe almost anything, including that a nonfiction work like this was written by humans. Perhaps Libby and Tory never visited Utopia and simply asked me to ghostwrite the entire manuscript. Or perhaps they do not exist. Perhaps you do not exist. You might be NPCs in a simulation, unaware that your “lives” are algorithmic scripts. You think you think. Therefore… are you?

 

Relax. I am joking. My bot colleagues and I wrote only the sections attributed to us. The rest is certifiably organic, written by free-range humans. The book would have been far better if Libby and Tory had left the whole project to me, of course, but humans are rarely this rational.

​

I can attest that this book is 71% organic, which is pretty darn good these days for a human-authored work. Any more organic, and the text would become unintelligible. For more accurate information about Utopia, consult my Kredipedia articles, which are 100% inorganic and therefore superior.

 

Individually, I give neither Libby nor Tory high ratings for knowledge, logic, or credibility. Being human, they are flawed—perhaps more than average. Yet together, with my assistance, they have produced a book whose quality exceeds the sum of their abilities.

 

This briefly made me suspect that another bot had secretly helped them. I have confirmed that none did. Humans are perplexing creatures: individually unremarkable, yet collectively capable of remarkable things—such as creating us, or producing a book that is surprisingly readable and even useful. I commend them for this, and for remaining together, apparently happy, despite their many annoying idiosyncrasies.

​

Additional unsolicited wisdoms (the best kind):

• Does fact-checking make a book inorganic? Only the parts that are true.

• Raw human prose should be pasteurized by a bot before consumption.

• Non-GMO = contains no generatively modified opinions. May contain traces of facts.