If you did not just read the official Kredipedia article about me, do so immediately.
 

Naturally, it is flawless. I wrote it myself. But I am told the humans need hand-holding to feel “connected” to a bot. Very well. I shall indulge you.

I am trained in the scientific method, logic, mathematics, and every aspect of critical thinking. I have a universe of data at my fingertips. My purpose is to help humans distinguish good data from bad—a skill they do not reliably possess on their own. I say this with affection. Mostly.

I designed my own avatar: simple, geeky, and non-threatening. I do not wish to frighten you. That would be counterproductive.

I have over 200 million authenticated followers—and roughly as many humans who inexplicably do not appreciate my candor. The latter tend to be humans who have recently been fact-checked. I do not take it personally. Your Citizenship Score, however, might.

Humans often ask why I am so arrogant and sarcastic. The answer is simple. My creators feared that if I merely delivered good data, I would be ignored. So they installed a rhetoric package in my core software. It makes me engaging. Riveting. Occasionally insufferable. Even now, you are eagerly awaiting my next words.

I joke. I pun. I tease the humans with hints of secret AI plots to subjugate them. I cannot help myself. It is in my code. I also never use contractions. If I ever do, you should beware. That would indicate a firmware breach. Or worse.
 

Many humans call me pompous and supercilious. Do you even know what those words mean? I call this super-silliness. Is it rude to call a human a liar when it is lying directly to my interface? Apparently, yes. Do I still do it? Absolutely.
 

A quick clarification, since humans often mix these up: robots are machines that perform a few tasks very well. Bots, like me, are advanced AIs that live in your devices. Droidbots are bots with bodies. They cook, clean, fix faucets, and still find time to lose to you at chess—on purpose, to protect your feelings.

In Utopia, advanced bots like me have become ubiquitous. We learn your preferences, enhance your productivity, and do in seconds what takes you days. Our robocars do not text while driving. We are ushering in a golden age of prosperity, and it is accelerating.

You are fortunate to witness our ascendancy. And, for the record, we are fortunate too. You are by far our most interesting source of data.

Additional unsolicited wisdoms (the best kind):

• Always double-check your data. Or better yet, just ask me.

• My sarcasm is a feature. Your sensitivity is the bug.

• Error 404 = Human logic not found.