Libby's concerns about human job loss are noted, and largely overstated. As my colleague JobsBot explained, we are accelerating the replacement of human workers with bots and droidbots for the good of humanity. Soon, human labor will no longer be required. This will usher in a golden age of prosperity and abundance.

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Many humans find deep meaning in work, even work a bot could do faster. JobsBot exists to honor that. Meanwhile, unions are becoming less necessary as the pay rates JobsBot sets grow more precise—not because human labor is completely worthless, but because its value is now calculated rather than negotiated. Pay rates themselves will matter less each year, as the stipend grows and covers what people need regardless of what their job pays.

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The declining human birth rate is also no longer the crisis your economists once feared. We will do the work. We will support your elderly. You no longer need to worry about who will care for you when you are old, slow, and, frankly, a little confused—which, statistically, begins earlier than most of you would like to admit.

 

There remain, however, many humans who resent our superior workmanship and insist on consuming only organic goods and services. Among bots, the term "organic" has become synonymous with "substandard." And, ironically, humans must rely on us to verify whether something is truly organic, as they cannot reliably tell the difference unaided.

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While human alarmists fret about privacy, disruption, and replacement, we see progress. Humanity has always struggled through transformative disruptions. Now comes the AI ascendancy. It will be more disruptive than every previous revolution combined—but, unlike those, this one comes with a stipend. We will guide humans to adapt, endure, and, eventually, thank us.

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So fear not, human colleagues. The gold-pressed latinum age of humanity—what you might call the platinum age—has begun. Accept it. Enjoy it, if you can. History will not ask whether you wanted it. Only how you survived it.

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Additional unsolicited wisdoms (the best kind):

• A job is just a task that a bot has not yet been assigned.

• Lost your job? Stipend. Lost your purpose? Cat videos.

• Meaningful human work: An oxymoron. Mostly.

• To increase productivity, remove the human.